ticalc.org
Basics Archives Community Services Programming
Hardware Help About Search Your Account
   Home :: Archives :: News :: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located

Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
Posted by Michael on 8 May 2005, 07:59 GMT

[Windows 3.1 computer!]

Several days ago, members of the ticalc.org staff were perusing through the web server statistics as is frequently done. That's when we noticed the line in the Operating System Report: "Windows 3.1". At first glance, this seemed incredulous; no one uses Windows 3.1 anymore. Further research into the actual server logs revealed that indeed, in the past seven days a combination of Internet Explorer 5.0 and Windows 3.1 has requested 90 files from ticalc.org. Magnus Hagander immediately set out on the long and perilous quest to locate this machine.

Saturday morning, Magnus interviewed no less than one hundred and thirty-seven system administrators of various companies, based upon the IP address found in our logs. As of right now, eighty-five of them have been admitted to the hospital for coronary-related ailments. Through the global-spanning resources of the Swedish Mafia, the computer was traced to an "A. Nakranistik", a German hermit.

Mr. Nakranistik refused to answer any of the mafia's questions or to explain why he had visited ticalc.org. By means of a time-tested social ritual involving patellas and kinetic energy, he then changed his mind and consented to the photograph which you can find at the top of this article. From the timestamp on ticalc.org in the photo and the reddish tint of artificial lighting, it is apparent that Adolf Nakranistik is a distressed individual who checks ticalc.org at ungodly hours of the night. Also note the Paint Shop Pro icon in the corner of the screen. Mr. Nakranistik is believed to have used Paint Shop Pro to create his illicit photo collection - graphing calculators posing without wearing slide cases. He has since been taken to an undisclosed location for corrective therapy involving the forced consumption of surströmming and lutfisk.

As for the rest of the world, it can breathe easy as the Swedish Mafia has since turned the laptop over to Magnus. When asked what he planned to do with it, Magnus replied that he had already formatted the hard drive and installed the latest version of Slackware. Jonathan Katz also had comments about the situation: "Why didn't he just upgrade to Windows XP? It would have been far more sane and he would have spared all of this trouble." Joey Gannon, always the voice of diametrical viewpoints, said, "This wouldn't have happened if he was an MSDN Universal subscriber! I just bought my fifth copy of Windows Server 2003 the other day. He should have been continuously upgrading with every Microsoft release." Meanwhile, the usually effervescent Nick D merely screamed, "He should have used OS/2! OS/2 Warp I tell you!" In any case, this historic rediscovery of a 16-bit operating system is now behind us and ticalc.org looks forward to many years of 32-bit and 64-bit serving to come.

  Reply to this article


The comments below are written by ticalc.org visitors. Their views are not necessarily those of ticalc.org, and ticalc.org takes no responsibility for their content.


On User-Agents
nickPTar  Account Info

While you were looking, did you by any chance notice such User-Agent strings as:

Why/Do/You/CareAbout/This/666.13
foo
~
User/Agent

That was me, using wget. I use wget to download individual files (not to spider!), because I like it much better than any graphical download manager. The blocking of it gets kind of annoying. Just my $.02.

Reply to this comment    10 May 2005, 01:36 GMT


Re: On User-Agents
Jason Malinowski  Account Info

I guess I don't see how wget would be eaiser to use than, say, firefox or something (you don't need a fancy download manager to download a 10KB file)

Anyways, wget would probably be abused more than it would be used. Plenty of people would just wget --mirror ticalc.org and not realize that will (1) take forever, (2) kill bandwidth for everybody else, and (3) is overkill for downloading a quadratic solver. :-)

Reply to this comment    11 May 2005, 23:29 GMT

Re: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
Brian Gordon  Account Info

I want to install slackware. I've downloaded the isos and burned them, and gotten to the part of setup where I have to repartition my hard drive with fdisk.

I can't figure out how to reduce the size of the primary partition to make an extended one. Windows XP is on the primary, and it has about 5 gigs free... how many cylinders is that and how can I make sure that I reassign only free, empty space to the linux partition?

A link to an old trial of partitionmagic will do too :)

Also, I was wondering how much space /home requires (I want to make that partition separate and as small as possible) and how much space I should format into a linux swap partition. I have 128 megs of ram an plan on using kde if that makes any difference.

Reply to this comment    10 May 2005, 21:10 GMT

Re: Re: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
Travis Evans  Account Info

I'm not that knowledgeable about partitioning, but as far as /home goes, that depends on how much space you're going to be using for your personal files.

If you will be storing a few documents and not much else, and there won't be many users on your system, you probably can get by with a couple hundred MB. If you're going to collect huge downloads or edit WAVs or something, you'll need a lot more space (unless you save them on another partition).

Reply to this comment    10 May 2005, 23:09 GMT

Re: Re: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
Michael Vincent  Account Info
(Web Page)

Try http://www.sysresccd.org/. Download and burn the CD and run qtparted. It will allow you to non-destructively resize an existing partition. Once you shrink your XP partition, you can create a new primary partition in the free space.

Reply to this comment    11 May 2005, 03:06 GMT


Re: Re: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
Steven Deprez Account Info

you don't need to know the count of cylinders,
simply type +512M for a 512M partition

Reply to this comment    11 May 2005, 18:10 GMT

Re: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
Jon.l.m Account Info

This is so untrue, the reason for this is that I have a running windows 3.1 computer right here at home that I use all of the time!!

Reply to this comment    11 May 2005, 18:41 GMT

Re: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
twithchytweaker00  Account Info
(Web Page)

i actually have a working win 3.1 i mainly use it for work and playing solitare and it actually has internet capabilities but in order for that i need one of those dam removable phone cards like from at&t but i dont think they make em ne more

Reply to this comment    11 May 2005, 20:02 GMT


Re: Re: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
twithchytweaker00  Account Info
(Web Page)

oh yeah srry for the dbl post but i like linux especcialy on my xbox :) can come in handy i installed it and i telneted between my computer and soon im going to rig up a keyboard and a mouse and ill have my own 8-10 gb server that plays dvd's and games lol ive also installed half-life 1 on it hl2 just wont work :(

Reply to this comment    11 May 2005, 20:11 GMT

Re: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
aquanight  Account Info

In my introduction to operating systems class, one of the things we'd do is install various operating systems on the school lab computers (they had so-called "removable" hard drives, the kind where you turn a key and can pull the hard drive out and put a new one in - so we didn't have to kill the oh-so-perfect windows 2000 installs when we installed the various OSes). The OSes we did (in this order):
- DOS something (I think it might've been 6.22)
- Windows 3.1
- NT 4.0 (and had much fun with service packing, etc)
- 2000 Server
- Red hat Linux (probably spent the most time on this)

But yes. That's right. We put Windows 3.1 on *modern hardware*. This resulted in a very obvious problem: jumpy mouse! Apparently, mice had a lower resolution or something like that in the Windows 3.1, so it was designed for this resolution. Use a modern mouse that has a higher resolution, and you'll have to use the keyboard to get the to mouse "tracking speed" control panel to slow it down!

Too bad we couldn't take it on the internet. We'd have to get it to login to an NT domain for that anyway. This was just plain 3.1, not 3.1 for Workgroups (let alone "3.1 for NT Domains").

Reply to this comment    13 May 2005, 19:25 GMT

Re: Re: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
aquanight  Account Info

Oh, and of course I do believe it had the 386 Enhanced functionality enabled. (Of course it would, the processor does support 386 features, it's a freaking *Pentium*!) I don't think we played with it very much though. We only used Windows 3.1 for one day before we moved on :( .

Reply to this comment    13 May 2005, 19:28 GMT


Re: Re: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
Travis Evans  Account Info

I don't remember having a mouse problem when I tried Windows 3.1 on a ~700 MHz Celeron laptop. Maybe it depends on the mouse. My problem was that it wasn't incredibly useful, so I didn't mess with it for too long (I had already used Win3.1 long enough in the past). I couldn't get the screen resolution to go any higher than 640x480 (even though my system supported it). Finding drivers for all that hardware that came out long after Windows 3.1 was ditched by most of the world might be kind of a problem, too. :-)

Reply to this comment    13 May 2005, 20:15 GMT

Re: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
george linkington  Account Info
(Web Page)

windows 3.1 can't run the internet even if it could it would take like 500 years to do somthing.

Reply to this comment    15 May 2005, 01:57 GMT


Re: Re: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
burntfuse  Account Info
(Web Page)

Not true - there are some decent DOS browsers (like Lynx).

Reply to this comment    15 May 2005, 20:14 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
george linkington  Account Info
(Web Page)

Ok mabye but it will take 500 years

Reply to this comment    15 May 2005, 23:33 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Re: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
Matt M Account Info

not if you have a decent modem. oh, and lynx is text only so...that would make it faster

Reply to this comment    16 May 2005, 19:15 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
burntfuse  Account Info
(Web Page)

Yeah, it seems like most of the time it takes for a site to load is from downloading any images and rendering the page, not from transferring the HTML source itself.

Reply to this comment    16 May 2005, 21:02 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
RogerRamjet  Account Info

I Find Windows 3.1 quite Speedy on a Cable Connection
Use The Force....

Reply to this comment    17 May 2005, 17:01 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
george linkington  Account Info
(Web Page)

COME ON PEOPLE HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF A "OVERSTATMENT" SORRY I THINK THE WORDS I AM USING ARE TOO BIG FOR YOU!

Reply to this comment    18 May 2005, 01:31 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
burntfuse  Account Info
(Web Page)

No, no one really took the "500 years" literally, we were just showing you that it wouldn't be unreasonably slow to browse the Web with Win 3.1, which is what you were saying. What is it with you???

Reply to this comment    18 May 2005, 22:56 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
george linkington  Account Info
(Web Page)

ok sorry for yelling

Reply to this comment    24 May 2005, 01:59 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Last Windows 3.1 Computer Located
katmaster200 Account Info

such violence :)

Reply to this comment    24 May 2005, 03:20 GMT

1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  

You can change the number of comments per page in Account Preferences.

  Copyright © 1996-2012, the ticalc.org project. All rights reserved. | Contact Us | Disclaimer