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Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Posted by Michael on 30 June 2004, 05:17 GMT

[Map2Go] Yesterday a somber event struck the TI community, as one ticalc.org visitor has been critically injured in a tragic car accident. Carey Gutmann was driving to a summer job interview and reading driving directions with Joey's Map2Go 68k utility (Map2Go converts Mapquest driving directions into 68k eBooks). Washington D.C. police say that at some point, Carey became distracted and lost control of his 1986 Yugo, skidding across four lanes before colliding with a potato chip truck. At last report, Carey was hospitalized and listed in critical condition. The driver of the truck was not injured.

Grant Wood, deputy sheriff, reported: "We believe at one point [Carey] pressed the wrong button and became enraptured with his TI-89 while attempting to view the directions."

Other drivers who witnessed the accident reported a series of loud sounds as hundreds of bags of individually packed, not-for-resale potato chips exploded in unison. "I thought terrorists were attacking us. I pulled off the road and put my head down under the steering wheel," exclaimed Joy Racine, a local businesswoman. When informed that the noise in question was actually the sound of a hydrogenated fast food staple, she said, "That's a shame. Potato chips are so American - they go with hamburgers and apple pie, you know? This Joey Gannon kid must be a terrorist for plotting this. America'll get him."

Attorney General John Ashcroft has not yet decided on whether the government will charge Joey on any of the charges under consideration, including aiding and abetting terrorist activities.

We wish the best of luck to Carey in his recovery. As for Joey, he should have included a disclaimer of liability with his software.

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The comments below are written by ticalc.org visitors. Their views are not necessarily those of ticalc.org, and ticalc.org takes no responsibility for their content.


Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Konrad Meyer  Account Info
(Web Page)

That's great. A classic. Heh, this is quite funny :).

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 07:24 GMT


Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Lewk Of Serthic Account Info
(Web Page)

Yeah, this one is going in my bookmarks.

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 15:13 GMT

Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Joey DIRCKX  Account Info

Grant Wood, deputy sheriff, reported: "We believe at one point [Carey] pressed the wrong button and became enraptured with his TI-89 while attempting to view the directions."

lol as if a sheriff knew what a ti89 was yeah nice fake article for presenting a program

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 07:43 GMT

Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Spencer Dubya  Account Info
(Web Page)

I've been trying to submit a news article for weeks, and they'd rather put THIS on the front page?!

Anyway, I wish him the best of luck. If only he was using an 84 instead of an 89...

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 08:04 GMT


Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
coinmanz  Account Info
(Web Page)

How is a new article submitted? (Enter Shameless Plug) My latest DOS Asm app might qualify. Quick Assembly SDK compiles the same code of a new language for many TI's and shells flawlessly, as well as converting bitmaps to .db and dc.b...(Exit Shameless Plug) As for this article...sweeet and hilarious. Are the chips on discount now?. I actually crashed a car once while using my 92+ (on GTA Vice City).

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 13:25 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Spencer Dubya  Account Info
(Web Page)

send an email to news@ticalc.org and hope for the best. not like they check it anyway!

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 17:06 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Joey Gannon  Account Info
(Web Page)

>not like they check it anyway!

Trust me, Michael checks it.

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 03:39 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
outdoneti  Account Info
(Web Page)

Only on assembly and informational programs will anyone check it. They just don't want a BASIC program cluttering up news (fake and real) about 2 to 5 year projects, no matter how good it is.

Reply to this comment    6 July 2004, 07:16 GMT

Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
tifreak8x  Account Info
(Web Page)

This is an...interesting article. lol. probably one of the best so far...

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 12:48 GMT


Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
tifreak8x  Account Info
(Web Page)

Someone needs to do me a favor and rate and review some of my programs or games. I wish I was rich, then I'd pay people to check out my programs... *sigh*

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 22:14 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
CajunLuke Account Info

I'll rate yours if you rate mine. No guarantees about good ratings, though.

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 18:59 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
tifreak8x  Account Info
(Web Page)

If I rate yours with good ratings, I had better get good ratings... or else... :)

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 19:30 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
no_one_2000_  Account Info
(Web Page)

*cough* He's cheating the rating system *cough* ;-)

Reply to this comment    4 July 2004, 15:20 GMT

Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
AndySoft  Account Info
(Web Page)

When I first read this headline, I thought they were going to try to tell me that Joey died again. ;)

(Those of you who frequent #tcpa ought to know what I'm referring to.)

<JMan_> jgannon died again?
<aardvarq> Yes. He was in Japan when it sank.

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 14:17 GMT

Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Dennis Tseng  Account Info
(Web Page)

Lol, this is one of the funniest tings, I thought that Joey died too, but wow... Must... Get.... Program...

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 14:25 GMT


Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Rob van Wijk  Account Info

"He was in Japan when it sank."
ROTFL
(Hey Joey, can't you swim or something? ;) )

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 01:30 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Joey Gannon  Account Info
(Web Page)

Yes, but I had my seatbelt on when it sank. By the time I got it off, the water pressure was too strong, so I couldn't kick the window out. Thus, I sank with Japan.

(I have no idea what this is all about... I'd better have a talk with the #tcpa guys. Again.)

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 03:52 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
Jason Malinowski  Account Info

Just to clarify, this quote is from awhile back. It's not in any of my logs, but I think I'm missing a portion of them.

My memory is fuzzy on the specifics of that quote as well, but I think if you go up a few lines (or look at the topic) it would be clearer. I think I was just referring to some event / comment regarding that jgannon wouldn't be visitng #tcpa for awhile or something. (Oh: my nick is JMan in that quote)

aarvarq's comment then came out of the blue: so ask him. :-)

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 15:50 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Joey Gannon Causes Car Wreck
AndySoft  Account Info
(Web Page)

I got that from our misicule quote database at http://tcpa.seligstein.com/

*checks to see if he has it in his personal logs*

Back around Mon 16 Feb is when this took place. Note, however, I don't have that exact quote in my logs, but the controversy from the #tcpa topic around when tinews died.

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 19:38 GMT

Not something to joke about-pt1
NEO3.14  Account Info

This is not even funny. Distracted Driving has become a huge problem in the US. Mostly, Distracted Driving talking about cell phone use. But there are a few other things that are also considered distracted driving. Like putting on make-up, reading a map, shaving, eating, tuning your radio, lighting a cigarette, electronic navigation systems(TI-Map2Go), or anything else that takes your mind (or eyes) off the road. Even talking to a passenger can be considered distracted driving.

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 14:32 GMT

Re: Not something to joke about-pt2
NEO3.14  Account Info

According to an A.P. article written by Jim Suhr, the Network of Employers for Traffic Safety, says distracted drivers cause at least 4000 accidents per day and possibly as many as 8000 per day! CarAccident.com says that 26% of all traffic fatalities are caused by distracted drivers and that traffic fatalities caused by cell phone users have gone up 800% since 1993!

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 14:33 GMT

Re: Re: Not something to joke about-pt2
NEO3.14  Account Info

There are so many people and organizations campaining against distracted drivers, that it won't be long until there are new laws on the books. ABC and CNN are even jumping on the bandwagon against distracted drivers. Many States are considering legislation against it. Some states dont want to write a law specific to cell phone use, because there are many other things that can distract a driver, like an electronic map. And they want to keep the door open for law enforcement officers. That way, they can write a ticket to a person who is zig-zagging for any reason.

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 14:33 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Not something to joke about-pt4
NEO3.14  Account Info

Approximately 42% of all accidents and 58% of fatal accidents occur at night or during other degraded visibility conditions, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration accident statistics. These 2.8 million annual police reported accidents, including 23,000 fatal crashes, represent accidents in which visibility may be a contributing factor. So please, especially at night, pay attention to the road and not that hamburger.
Never read while driving! If you don't know where you're going, please stop and look at the map(Once again-Map2Go). Know exactly where you are going before you leave. One minute stopped is better than ten minutes of driving around trying to find something. I've even heard of drivers using the bathroom while driving. If you really have to go, please stop for one minute. One minute isn't going to kill you, but trying to save one might.

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 14:34 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Re: Not something to joke about-pt4
calkfreak83  Account Info

Dude, did you like look that up or did you just memorize it. I just quit readin after like the first two sentences.

You do need to lighten up... after all, the news is fake.

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 04:04 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Not something to joke about-pt4
TheGreatOne Account Info

Homer - "People can come up with statistics to prove anything Kent, 40% of all people know that."

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 04:46 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Not something to joke about-pt2
Jake Griffin  Account Info
(Web Page)

"That way, they can write a ticket to a person who is zig-zagging for any reason."
Yeah...it's called "reckless driving." They already HAVE that.

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 19:56 GMT


Re: Re: Not something to joke about-pt2
Rob van Wijk  Account Info

That's hardly fair, as I'd bet the number of cell phones has gone up even more than 800%.

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 01:33 GMT

Re: Not something to joke about-pt1
TrumpetMan258  Account Info
(Web Page)

You do make some good points, but I think you need to lighten up a little. This is obviously fake. I think it's hilarious!

-TrumpetMan

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 16:10 GMT


Still not something to joke about
NEO3.14  Account Info

Yeah, I guess I might need to "lighten up a little." But my best friend was killed recently by a distracted driver. The woman in the other car was reading a map.

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 16:49 GMT

Re: Still not something to joke about
Jonathan Pezzino  Account Info
(Web Page)

yeah, that article does have a kind of sick and twisted side, and maybe the crash part wasn't funny to me because I'm taking driver's ed right now (aka shitty-videos-of-crash-dummies-propganda class). However, the part about the potato chips and the terrorists was hilarious.

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 17:55 GMT


Re: Re: Still not something to joke about
no_one_2000_  Account Info
(Web Page)

*gag* I agree with what you said about Driver's Ed.

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 17:19 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Still not something to joke about
Tzazak Account Info

We saw this movie in Driver's Ed where there was a car on wet pavement spinning really fast and a monotonous voice said "This car is out of control." I would hope that car is out of control, because if the person did have control, he or she didn't deserve to be driving.

Reply to this comment    3 July 2004, 03:10 GMT

Re: Still not something to joke about
W Hibdon  Account Info
(Web Page)

Why do people have to be in such a big hurry to get places? It is called pulling over and looking at the map. I yell at my mom when she rummages through her purse while driving, though it does no good.

-W-

Reply to this comment    2 July 2004, 05:05 GMT


Re: Still not something to joke about
Lewk Of Serthic Account Info
(Web Page)

In that case I suppose you have an exscuse to rant a bit.

Reply to this comment    3 July 2004, 04:02 GMT

Re: Not something to joke about-pt1
Matt Long  Account Info

Too bad about your friend but man, that's annoying. (Four big posts in a row.)

Reply to this comment    30 June 2004, 22:27 GMT


Re: Re: Not something to joke about-pt1
W Hibdon  Account Info
(Web Page)

hmm... That should probably have been two sentences. But hey?

-W-

Reply to this comment    2 July 2004, 22:08 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Not something to joke about-pt1
Matt Long  Account Info

It should have at least had a comma or semicolon.

Reply to this comment    4 July 2004, 00:40 GMT

Re: Not something to joke about-pt1
Sraphim Account Info

I knew that there would be a response like this. Yes this is a freakin _huge_ problem. This article satirizes this behaviour perfectly. Can't you take good satire?

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 03:30 GMT


Re: Re: Not something to joke about-pt1
Sraphim Account Info

Very sorry for sounding insensitive. I meant that as in "the article implies and acknoledges that it is a huge problem as well," and you have very good points.

My apologies.

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 03:33 GMT

Re: Not something to joke about-pt1
Lewk Of Serthic Account Info
(Web Page)

Yeah! Like roadsigns! How dare the state try to disract us with such trival things such as speed limits!

Reply to this comment    1 July 2004, 15:57 GMT

Re: Re: Not something to joke about-pt1
W Hibdon  Account Info
(Web Page)

Dude, too far, too far.

-W-

Reply to this comment    2 July 2004, 22:09 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Not something to joke about-pt1
Lewk Of Serthic Account Info
(Web Page)

I was joking.

Reply to this comment    3 July 2004, 02:27 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Not something to joke about-pt1
Tzazak Account Info

Dude, way to far. :)

Reply to this comment    3 July 2004, 03:11 GMT


Re: Re: Not something to joke about-pt1
Geoffrey Ji  Account Info

...scary...
*hides from him*
that was WAY too far

Reply to this comment    5 July 2004, 21:40 GMT


Tasteless
nicklaszlo Account Info
(Web Page)

I think it's just tasteless to make fun of someone's death. In any context.

Reply to this comment    3 July 2004, 04:46 GMT


Re: Tasteless
Joey Gannon  Account Info
(Web Page)

I don't believe anyone's death is being made fun of. There is no mention of death at all, in fact.

Reply to this comment    5 July 2004, 23:15 GMT

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