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Nick Disabato Celebrates Meaningless Passage Of Time With Equally Meaningless "Birthday Party"
Posted by Nick on 1 February 2000, 02:52 GMT
 (Reuters) CHICAGO, IL - To celebrate the otherwise meaningless revolution of the Earth about a mid-sized star, Nick Disabato held a "birthday party" for little to no reason this weekend.
For some outlandish reason, Nick felt a strange compelling to throw a party for a meaningless passage of time to occur on what people on Earth consider to be "February 1, 2000." When questioned about the matter, Nick replied, "It's my birthday. People throw parties on their birthday. It's called a birthday party."
Wow.
It's clearly apparent that Nick needs some sort of professional help. When questioned about Nick's bout with insanity, theoretical physicist Alfred E. Neumann of the University of Chicago stated that "since all bodies travel at different speeds, whether it be the Earth or Alpha Centauri, time passes differently for each. As a result, it's logical to assume that time is merely an illusion to the viewer and that Nick Disabato must be committed to an insane asylum at once." Ed Sim, a real-life acquaintance of Nick, agrees: "Nick is just [mess]ed up. I wouldn't trust him with anything, much less whether or not he feels he has the knowledge to determine whether or not his eighteenth 'birthday' has passed." An average student at Maine South, Kate Ferraro, said, "It's Joey's birthday?! I HAVE TO GET HIM BALLOONS!*#&!(*#&!@)#" with the punctuation symbols and everything.
Doctors are investigating Park Ridge's water supply for signs of contamination.
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The comments below are written by ticalc.org visitors. Their views are not necessarily those of ticalc.org, and ticalc.org takes no responsibility for their content.
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Re: Nick Disabato Celebrates Meaningless Passage Of Time With Equally Meaningless "Birthday Party"
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Eric Sun 
(Web Page)
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Happy birthday, Nick. and stuff.
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1 February 2000, 02:57 GMT
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Ummm....
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Phil Genera
(Web Page)
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I hereby deny the existence of any correspondence, professional or otherwise, with the above mentioned "Nick Disabato." Furthermore, I've never seen him before in my life, don't know who he is, and never wish to make his acquaintence.
Thankyou.
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1 February 2000, 03:03 GMT
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Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Ooom....
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Matthew Hernandez
(Web Page)
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Yeah, that is a good one. I have ever single calvin and hobbes (mint condition I might add...I have one to read and one to collect). I know, it's a little much...but we ALL collect SOMETHING! Mine is calvin and hobbes. The ones I really enjoy, though, are the snowmen that he makes! Oh, those could be to die for! I laugh every time I read (err...look) them! Oh, another good one is the one with the car and calvin is in the back window with a sign saying he has been kidnapped and needs help. The captain spiff ones are really boring, though! I can never even get all the way through them--I just turn the page and go one. Well, farside is always good, too...dilbert is just dumb,
Matt H.
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6 February 2000, 03:46 GMT
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Happy Birtday Nick!!!
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Cpt.Ginyu
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Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy bithday dear Nicky! Happy birthday to you!
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1 February 2000, 03:04 GMT
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Re: Nick Disabato Celebrates Meaningless Passage Of Time With Equally Meaningless "Birthday Party"
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Garrett Larson
(Web Page)
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Wierd.. Today (Jan 31) is my 15th birthday. What did you get?
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1 February 2000, 03:16 GMT
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