Nick Disabato Celebrates Meaningless Passage Of Time With Equally Meaningless "Birthday Party"
Posted by Nick on 1 February 2000, 02:52 GMT
(Reuters) CHICAGO, IL - To celebrate the otherwise meaningless revolution of the Earth about a mid-sized star, Nick Disabato held a "birthday party" for little to no reason this weekend. For some outlandish reason, Nick felt a strange compelling to throw a party for a meaningless passage of time to occur on what people on Earth consider to be "February 1, 2000." When questioned about the matter, Nick replied, "It's my birthday. People throw parties on their birthday. It's called a birthday party." Wow. It's clearly apparent that Nick needs some sort of professional help. When questioned about Nick's bout with insanity, theoretical physicist Alfred E. Neumann of the University of Chicago stated that "since all bodies travel at different speeds, whether it be the Earth or Alpha Centauri, time passes differently for each. As a result, it's logical to assume that time is merely an illusion to the viewer and that Nick Disabato must be committed to an insane asylum at once." Ed Sim, a real-life acquaintance of Nick, agrees: "Nick is just [mess]ed up. I wouldn't trust him with anything, much less whether or not he feels he has the knowledge to determine whether or not his eighteenth 'birthday' has passed." An average student at Maine South, Kate Ferraro, said, "It's Joey's birthday?! I HAVE TO GET HIM BALLOONS!*#&!(*#&!@)#" with the punctuation symbols and everything. Doctors are investigating Park Ridge's water supply for signs of contamination.
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Happy Birthday Nick!!!!!
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Cpt.Ginyu
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Happy birthday to you! Happy bithday to you! Happy birthday dear Nicky! Happy birthday to you! Now treat yourself to a birthday game of tetris and a slice of birthday cake.
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1 February 2000, 03:36 GMT
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Re: Nick Disabato Celebrates Meaningless Passage Of Time With Equally Meaningless "Birthday Party"
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fatman
(Web Page)
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Hey, now you can start updating agian right? I bet it was that whole being a year younger thing, wasn't it. Now you should be able to do this.
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1 February 2000, 04:02 GMT
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Re: Nick Disabato Celebrates Meaningless Passage Of Time With Equally Meaningless "Birthday Party"
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DWedit
(Web Page)
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unf!
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1 February 2000, 04:06 GMT
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Re: Nick Disabato Celebrates Meaningless Passage Of Time With Equally Meaningless "Birthday Party"
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Lucas
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Have an endorphine-stimulating celebration of the passing of an integral number of terrestrial revolutions about the solar orb, Nick. Say, what olfactory sensation did your gluten, sucrose, and lactic fluid mixture, heated until satisfactory tactile properties are attained (otherwise known as a CAKE) cause in that massive nose of yours? Of course, everybody either has a massive nose, a nose solely consisting of non-massive particles, or no nose at all. But that is a subject of another physics lesson.
Translation to 'normal' English:
Have a happy birthday, Nick. What flavor was your cake? I like chocolate. But that's a subject of another physics lesson.
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1 February 2000, 07:02 GMT
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