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Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
Posted by Steve on 1 April 2000, 02:02 GMT
 Steve Whittaker, current file archiver at ticalc.org, has risen to power in a massive seizure of the state, sources close to The Project reported on Friday.
ticalc.org staff member Nick Disabato comments: "We didn't see it coming. All I noticed was "3Y3 H4X0R3D J00"!#)*@&#*(!)#&*!@()#&@" written in giant letters across my screen, and it turns out that ticalc.org was 0wn3d. This was unprecedented.
Last month, we joined the fearless ticalc.org staff when they were presented with a quandary: Steve was slowly taking over regions of the ticalc.org htdocs/ directory, and the members were fearing for the safety of the warring factions.
Over the past four weeks, the Stevian forces seeped in through the cracks to take ticalc.org's Disputed Zone. Says ticalc.org's commander-in-chief Magnus Hagander, "We were going to move forces in to neutralize the dissident militants in the Steve Zone off to the west, but we were met with a large amount of opposition and we were forced to pull back to assault from the north.
"Sadly, our forces were no match for Steve's speed, and he quickly took the demilitarized zone and the late Nick Disabato's claim on the northwest."
Nick Disabato is unavailable for comment: as of press time, he was being tortured deep in Steve's private military's catacombs for information regarding the root password.
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The comments below are written by ticalc.org visitors. Their views are not necessarily those of ticalc.org, and ticalc.org takes no responsibility for their content.
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Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
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Gary Huyser 
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Does this mean that we are all Steve's unwilling subjects?
BTW: First Comment! :P (Yeah, I do what I can!)
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1 April 2000, 02:12 GMT
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Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
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bh4oz
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interesting article
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1 April 2000, 02:16 GMT
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Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
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Robert Maresh
(Web Page)
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Two things:
1. Whatever happened to FAKE news? OR is this REAL news?
2. Anyone have an Idea of how to translate the April issue of ticalc.org Monthly (looks like its in several languages.)
Bob Maresh
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1 April 2000, 02:24 GMT
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Re: Nick's alive :)
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Nick Disabato
(Web Page)
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As one of Steve's horrible minions was reaching for his tool that he frequently calls "The Gouger," I found my chance! Using a bobby pin I had kept in my mouth from the hair of that mistress they had me "with," I picked the locks using a long-lost method that enabled me to free myself in less than three seconds and leap out of the window.
Unfortunately, I had not planned for the window to lead to a sixty-foot sheer drop off a cliff.
What satanic architect would bother to construct such a thing, other than for action value and to move the plot along, I can't possibly fathom.
Reenacting a scene from "The Fugitive," I dove out the window and into the water.
The next few hours are a bit fuzzy, but from what I can tell, the highlights of it all entail me giving a lecture on theoretical physics at Princeton and winning the Nobel Prize for Pathological Lying.
When I came to, people were throwing change at me on a street corner in St. Petersburg. I quickly headed for the American Embassy, and, after showing them proof that I was an american citizen and - in fact - TRULY A STAFF MEMBER OF TICALC.ORG, I earned my freedom and was shipped back to Chicago on the next flight.
Keep in mind that this all happened in the span of exactly one minute, because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to post the news item immediately after that.
--BlueCalx
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1 April 2000, 05:46 GMT
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Re: Steve Whittaker Seizes ticalc.org
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amicek
(Web Page)
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You guys love to mix things up don't you? Well go for it, I can't say I care about what happens as long as I can still conveinently view new calc news. Go for it for April fools day; I doubt anyone will care too much.
amicek
P.S. If you really want to mix things up, translate the whole front page to something like Russian if you want. Either that or take a screen shot of the site, flip it around in a graphics software, and then make it so the front page loads upside down and backwards. Mirror anyone?
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1 April 2000, 02:39 GMT
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