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ticalc.org Completes IPO
Posted by Michael on 1 April 2004, 00:50 GMT

As many of you know, it costs quite a bit of money to run a website with the astounding level of traffic that we receive. In order to raise enough funds to cover next year's bandwidth expenses, we are pleased (actually, overwhelmingly excited) to announce that ticalc.org has just completed its initial public offering of stock.

We are now traded as a nonprofit corporation on the electronic communications network Archipelago. This allows for 24-hour, real time trades under the ticker symbol CALCS. Our initial public float was 1,000,000 shares at a par value of $0.25 each.

Because of unexpected demand, as of the time of this writing, we expect Isaac to place first in the list of the world's wealthiest people, with a net worth of $76 billion. Magnus is second with a current worth of $43 billion. We have created a stock ticker (quotes delayed 15 minutes) with the current ticalc.org price:

CALCS: $

We thank all of you for investing in us, and hope to continue to serve the community for many more years now!
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The comments below are written by ticalc.org visitors. Their views are not necessarily those of ticalc.org, and ticalc.org takes no responsibility for their content.


Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
W Hibdon  Account Info
(Web Page)

Wait, so I cannot really buy ticalc stock? Man, this stinks!

-W-

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 04:26 GMT

Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
TheCalcGenius  Account Info
(Web Page)

Wow!
On March 31, 2099 at 10:36 PM CST it shows
CALCS: $ 4496881.02
Change: 1798752308%

Can't wait!! :)

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 04:38 GMT


Re: Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
Roger Que  Account Info
(Web Page)

It's better on 03:14:07 Tuesday, 19 January 2038. That's the end of the Unix epoch, 4294967296 seconds after 1 January 1970.

Then it all rolls over again.

Reply to this comment    2 April 2004, 11:27 GMT

Deja Vu...
molybdenum  Account Info

Weird, I saw this and thought, "Hey, why are they doing the same thing they did last year?" It took me a while to figure out that they suggested pay-per-click last year, not this. Or was last year the HP ad? These jokes are always so financially oriented. I think a good one would be hiring Linus as news editor or deleting non-educational programs. This one was great, especially because of the changing ticker, adds some "interactivity."

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 05:36 GMT


Re: Deja Vu...
jrock7286  Account Info
(Web Page)

I think a good one would be anything NOT on April fools, because we are always expecting it when they do it...

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 05:51 GMT


Re: Re: Deja Vu...
Ben Cherry  Account Info
(Web Page)

or if something like this really did happen around april fools, and in the news article about it they said "April Fools'" but the real April Fools is that it isnt an april fools like they said.

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 06:16 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Deja Vu...
ti_guy  Account Info

Its 1:00 AM my time, and your sentance confused me. I need coffee. (drinks coffee) Ahhh, now its my turn to write a confusing sentance: I can't believe that I believed that unbelievable article that made me believe that Magnus & them guys believed that they made us believe they were rich. Nw hw tht fr n über meed up entnce? (Drinks more coffe) Ok, now I can talk again. :

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 07:14 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Deja Vu...
jrock7286  Account Info
(Web Page)

Ѥw hw h fr übr m맧d p ?

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 22:23 GMT

Å
JAKAS  Account Info

Translation: Now how's that for an uber messed up sentence.
I like the use of the special characters

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 23:08 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Deja Vu...
no_one_2000_  Account Info
(Web Page)

H, jö g mmz h Å hä , ö öü h hå må???

-__2000_

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 23:12 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Deja Vu...
jrock7286  Account Info
(Web Page)

Me? Use the character map? Never! OK...I did...

Reply to this comment    2 April 2004, 16:14 GMT

Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
Ben Cherry  Account Info
(Web Page)

Oh No! Click the link above for terrible news :-)

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 06:22 GMT

Re: Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
joeman3429  Account Info

the link doesn't work for me, whats the so unimaginably gut renchingly evil, despicable horror beyond the comprehention of mankind that appears on that site?

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 06:51 GMT


Re: Re: Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
Cullen Logan  Account Info
(Web Page)

Let the flash animantion load...it may take a while.

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 20:25 GMT

Re: Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
Cullen Logan  Account Info
(Web Page)

Thats pretty funny. "That's a good question pan-pan".

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 20:25 GMT

Re: Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
Lewk  Account Info

Ummm. Pudding?

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 21:33 GMT

Re: Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
jrock7286  Account Info
(Web Page)

hehe...glad you had me see that. That was amusing. Homestarrunner is great

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 22:27 GMT

Re: Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
no_one_2000_  Account Info
(Web Page)

Whoa... that got me for a second. I was like "What!? They took away homestarrunner.com!?" But then I noticed it was a flash animation. :)

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 23:15 GMT


Re: Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
mindstorm23 Account Info

I wonder if you can buy stock in ThoraxCorp...

Reply to this comment    5 April 2004, 01:34 GMT

Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
Eugene Talagrand Account Info
(Web Page)

CALCS: $ 67.75
Change: 27000%

If there are 1000000 shares, and assuming Isaac and Magnus had all the shares at no cost, even by selling now they would only be worth a combined
$67,750,000 -- definitely not $76B+$43B!

And if they expect the stock price to rise (to get that worth, each share should be worth at least $119000 if they control the supply) -- why start at $0.25??!

And here I thought this was a calculator site :)

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 13:12 GMT


Re: Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
Michael Vincent  Account Info
(Web Page)

One million is the public float of shares, as it says in the article. Magnus and Isaac have much more.

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 13:28 GMT


Re: Re: Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
Dysfunction  Account Info

Oh wow, I thought this was an April fool's joke, but no red border to the article, so its for real! Wow!

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 17:08 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
Kevin Kofler Account Info
(Web Page)

According to the tradition here, the red border will be added on April 2nd.

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 18:17 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
jrock7286  Account Info
(Web Page)

Yep...the blue border has taken yet another victim ;)

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 22:28 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
JAKAS  Account Info

Thats Great. Yah, I'm glad I wasn't in elementary school today. April fools jokes are mean there. :-(

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 23:12 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
no_one_2000_  Account Info
(Web Page)

*breaks out laughing*

Reply to this comment    1 April 2004, 23:16 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
TrumpetMan258  Account Info

Dude, your brain must be dysfunctional! $76 billion? $43 billion? You've gotta be kidding!

-TrumpetMan

Reply to this comment    2 April 2004, 00:36 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
Eugene Talagrand Account Info
(Web Page)

Besides, Ticalc has no revenue stream = stock is completely worthless: if they decided to add fees, for example, most users would flee in a second and those precious webstats would crash.

Reply to this comment    2 April 2004, 01:58 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
Magnus Hagander  Account Info
(Web Page)

Oh, we get plenty of money from the sublimal ads.

Reply to this comment    2 April 2004, 18:40 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
Lewk Account Info

AHHHH! I'm being bombarded by sublimal messages!!! They're altering my presious last shards of logic with evil covert Crest Toothpaste commercials!! Oh the horror! What has humanity come to!?!

On a slightly less paranoid note. Did you know that the Bush administration used a sublimal commercail on public TV? During one of his commercails when the word "Democrats" was said the word RATS in white lettering was flashed up on the screen on a black background. Sublimal messages are not new however and contrary to many peoples believes they are very effective. They were experimented with some long while ago in movie theaters. Words or phrases like DRINK COKE or EAT were flashed up on the screen during the intermissions. Sales increased by 50% during the intermissions compare to intermisions without such advertising. It has been suggested that sublimal messages could even be used in billboards or magizines using slighly altered pictures. For example (and sorry for being crude) a few years back MARLBO (or however you spell that cigerete company with the camal) supposedly put a picture of a "happy" man in the design on the camel.

Reply to this comment    2 April 2004, 23:27 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: ticalc.org Completes IPO
nolekid  Account Info

Actually, the word was "bureaucrats" not specifically democrats, though since it was a campaign ('00) commercial we can assume it was aimed towards the donkey party.

SubClimOinaCl meAssa-gesC are Obad Lfor Ayou.

Reply to this comment    3 April 2004, 04:47 GMT

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