Please don't leave us, Precious!! We needs TI-Calc.org, Precious!! TI-Calc shutting down and the world ending, that would kill us, KILL US, Precious!! Nooo! Then my Precious would be lost!! But it's mine, my own, Precious!!! AAAAAAaaaaaaaa!!

We swears, by the Precious, not to let TI-Calc go down!! We needs it!!
And by the way, what's Alert System, Precious?

Okay, gollum... ;-)

I think you shouldn't have posted this as a fake news item right away. I think you should have posted it as a real item and later on, post it as a fake news item... or maybe I just missed it (I have a fever *cry*)

You're odd.

Odds & Sods (great Who album)

Thanks. I needed that.

Actually, yes, you did.

Who said anything about shutting down? The world may be ending, but we'll be right there!

NO. I believe TI Calc is going to protect me.

I'm already scared, despite all that!!!

(see title)

AHHHHHHHHHHHH *Fall into fire*

Don't ruin the ending!

Where do the Monkeys on Typewriters Live?

They live underneath my house, where they keep me awake all night with banana fights and incessant chatter!

DOWN WITH THE TYPING MONKEYS~~~~~~!!!!!!!!

Well, instead of sleeping, maybe you could update some of those 1000's of files.

Unfortunately, that's not his job :(

he can still help out, or get the other members motivated with his jester hat

There are several pokey corners on that thing.

I STILL think that the corners wouldn't be too threatening ;)

That's the darndest thing... my chattering monkeys keep me awake with banana fights and incest! I am Jack's inflamed sense of rejection.

You must have some seriously deformed monkeys...

All animals have genetic protections against incest, in the form of pheromones that only entice mates if the pheromones are different but not too much.

Don't you mean,

DOWN WITn ThE TYEPNG MONKIEys1!!!!!!!!11

?

That took me much too long to understand ;) (It's my fever)

I still don't under stand it. (I also have a fever)

ain't lord_nightrose a monkey? he types mad fast.

...and his ticalc.org account bio says so as well.

Ook, ook.

Yes, they do live in Michael Vincent's house, and they also prevent him from being a functional member of society and programming quality Assembly programs.

Do you mean they prevent him from creating his quality ASM programs? or that they allow him too by being a dysfunctional member of society?

Both.

Yes They do live under Michaels house, they prevent him from being a functional member of society and programming quality ASM programs. What he Needs is Monkey-Away, the artificial banana-scented monkey bomb.

Wouldn't this attract more monkeys?

then
monkey go BOOM

fun!

I don't like this news... It's really bad. The reason being... I AM A TYPE-WRITING MONKEY! YOU'RE ALL OUT TO KILL ME! AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!! ;-)

*evil laugh*

Ewww...monkey guts

Isn't that a delicacy? MMMMMMmm

Not here!

They live in my closet, typing up a storm and playing games on calculators they stole. They really raise a racket, especially like the time when one of them got a new high score on Snood.
d:-)