ticalc.org Celebrates 9.996098483 Year Anniversary
Posted by Michael on 20 June 2006, 05:23 GMT

Ladies, gentlemen, and calculators, I am pleased to announce that ticalc.org has at long last accomplished something of importance: Our 9.996098483 year anniversary! Yes, ticalc.org has now existed longer than argyle tube socks, mint toothpaste, NASA, and the development of common sense!

Celebrating this remarkable achievement, King Carl XVI Gustaf of Sweden remarked in a telegram sent directly to Magnus, "Thees is a greet eccumpleeshment. Oon behelff ooff ell Svedesh ceetizens, I cungretoolete-a teecelc.oorg oon zeeur 9.996098483 yeers ooff oopereshun! Bork Bork Bork!"

Reports from North Dakota, Andorra, Rhodesia, Burma, North Korea, Iran, the X-axis, Iraq, the Y-axis, and the rest of the axes of evil indicate that massive imaginary tickertape parades are being held in ticalc.org's honor. Said parades are rumored to include live performances by famed Swedish music group ABBA and Magnus Hagander.

Nick Disabato, when contacted regarding this important furlongstone, said, "you are all nerds. it is a miracle that ticalc.org was able to survive under the vincentian reign of terror." Nick also commented that he is recently single, having been dumped by his previous girlfriend after not buying her enough graphing calculators.

The entire staff of ticalc.org held a grand party today in the ticalc.org war room, where they consumed copious amounts of lutfisk and a good time was had by all as they plotted the eventual global domination of ticalc.org. Among topics discussed were the use of LCD-less 83+s for nuclear weapons guidance systems, the future election of Magnus Hagander to People Magazine's Hottest Bachelors list, the nature of MirageOS as a metaphor for the paradise syndrome in modern society, and the future capture of Greenland for use as a HP calculator waste dump.

Joey Gannon maintained his optimistic reputation by proclaiming that "One year is a fad, two years is a BASIC programming group, five years is a dynasty, eight years is a bunch of calc.org losers, and 9.996098483 years is an unbeatable ticalc.org empire!" He then proceded to name all of the functions on a TI-89 from memory in reverse alphabetical order, to the tune of "Here We Come A-Wassailing." We suspect he will soon be committed to a mental institution in Finland, where he shall be fed sugary danishes thrice daily, and then charged for the high offense of cannibalism.

An impromptu haiku commemorating this joyous occasion!:

      ticalc.org
eternally good for all
     visit now or else

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