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2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Posted by Michael on 15 January 2006, 01:42 GMT

Jason and I were spending our Friday night on IRC when we spontaneously realized how difficult it is to successfully submit a program to ticalc.org. We resolved that we ought to use our file archiving experiences to write a guide on how to successfully submit your programs to ticalc.org. Writing one suggestion per minute on average while in a state of extreme memory recollection, we took an hour out of our time to compile a list of 64 rules that absolutely ensure 100% guaranteed acceptance term life insurance...err acceptance of all of your files.

  1. Assume that your users are all psychic and do not require a readme or any instructions whatsoever. After all, we are already familiar with your program.
  2. Make sure you infringe upon trademark law and put "WINDOWS XP" in your title. This is also a good way to get downloads from people who think that Windows XP will somehow run on a calculator.
  3. Assume your program is the l33test program of all existence, and deserves to have titles in all caps and filenames that start with a 1 so it appears at the top of the default sort order.
  4. Pick your favorite TI-OS function and duplicate it in BASIC. Users love nothing more than seeing the same old boring functions reprogrammed to be both slower and use up memory!
  5. Assume that all people have T1 lines, and include huge, multi-megabyte manuals in your zip for your 2KB program.
  6. People always forget the quadratic formula. They also like to make sure that they calculate it correctly. For this reason, there must be at least 1,000 quadratic solver programs in our archives.
  7. People are much more likely to download your program if you have a software "company." Adding a name such as "Boring H4x0r Productions Inc" will triple your downloads; after all, it's a household name people trust.
  8. If your program is boring and doesn't adhere to any of these guidelines, then simply state as such in the description. For example, "Don't download this file." Your friendly and helpful file archiver will help you out and make sure your file is never downloaded.
  9. Make sure you upload all of your TI-83+ files into the TI-83 folder: TI-83 Plus users love having to hunt through thousands of TI-83 files to find the ones that will actually run on their calculator!
  10. Everyone knows your obscure dialect of Portuguese that is spoken only in one remote village in the mountains of Peru, so it's perfectly fine to upload files that have descriptions and titles that are written entirely in languages other than English!
  11. And also, most people can't speak English very well either. Therefore, feel free to abhor all English rules. Keep in mind that commas and punctuation are just for effect. Feel free to throw them in all over your description. It doesn't matter: people will download more if you have more symbols!
  12. Program filenames are like corporate bonds: The earlier in the alphabet and the more letters they have, the better it makes your program! Names such aaaaaaaa.zip will get you right at the top of the download list!
  13. Realize that people searching for files like adventure. Make sure every file you upload has a unique version number on it, resulting in hundreds of different versions of your file in the same directory. Your users will love the challenge of finding the latest one! You can take this one step further by constantly varying your version number scheme!
  14. Some people don't have any calculator software on their computer, so it's a great idea to submit your file in text format instead of .8xp or other appropriate format! This is best done by copying the text directly and leaving little ü's where the STO arrows used to be.
  15. You can compress your zip files even more by adding another .zip extension to them. For example, renaming quadratic.zip to quadratic.zip.zip cuts down on size tremendously.
  16. Picture files aren't any good because they require 768 bytes each! So, instead make sure you put five hundred Pt-On() lines in your program to draw graphics.
  17. If your program doesn't have enough features, make some up and list them in the description! All you have to do is put "in the next version" by them in the readme.
  18. There aren't very many instructions on the File Upload page. Feel free to ignore them. It makes the file archiver's job extra exciting when you violate all of them in one submission!
  19. People are more likely to download a program if they really understand it. Five paragraph essays in your file description are a great way to introduce your program. Just make sure you keep all the information on how to actually use the program out: that's for the readme!
  20. You're a person who never makes mistakes and who can write software for many different calculators without ever owning or testing your programs on those calculators. Feel free to upload ports of your program to every calculator model and note in the readme that "it should work."
  21. If you're addicted to submitting files and need to stop your addiction, it's easy! Just choose some special four-lettered words and direct them at your favorite file archiver! Instant ban!
  22. If you can't think of any programs to write, just take some public domain literature and make it into an ebook. Then release for every calculator.
  23. If all the public domain literature is already uploaded, feel free to take the text of the latest Harry Potter book and upload that. International copyright laws don't apply to Sweden.
  24. Feel free to copy your file description to the file archiver comments box when submitting a file. Therefore your file will be twice as clear to the file archiver, and will be processed twice as quickly!
  25. It's okay to upload programs that have nothing to do with calculators in the Windows directory. ticalc.org is here to serve as a repository for your l33t Visual C++ skills.
  26. Although Visual C++ programs are just cool, true type fonts are even cooler!
  27. If your file gets rejected with a notice because it was written in some obscure foreign language, you should confront the file archiver in an e-mail in that same language. After all, ticalc.org staff members are well versed in every language in the world.
  28. Streaming pay per view movies or cable channels with a TV tuner card over your 802.11b wireless network lets you get around the "Don't use language you wouldn't hear on network television" rule for your programs.
  29. Feel free, when updating a file, to upload the screenshots that are already on your file info page. You then let the screenshotter do their duty of deleting the new versions so you don't have duplicates. You wouldn't want them to have nothing to do, would you?
  30. However, if you do have new screenshots, feel free to blow them up so big they won't even fit on a 800x600 resolution monitor. Nobody should be using a resolution that small anyways.
  31. When the file upload form says "screenshots are approved separately from the file, so they may appear on our site a short while later than the file itself", we are really lying to you. We process all screenshots instantly and so if yours doesn't immediately appear, you can assume that the entire staff has a vendetta specifically against you.
  32. If the screenshots for your file don't immediately appear, try uploading your file again and again. The more often you upload, the better chance you have of those instant screenshots.
  33. If your program is really important, feel free to upload it a second time by simply changing the filename. We won't notice.
  34. If your program is really, really, important, upload it under two filenames for every calculator model it runs on, and then upload untested ports for the others.
  35. Starting your filename with 0000000 is an excellent idea. File archivers have the innate ability to understand what your file really is.
  36. When your life's accomplishments are judged, your fate will rest solely upon the number of files you uploaded to ticalc.org. Make sure you submit as many as possible.
  37. If your program gets rejected, keep trying. If you upload it thirty times, it might get approved on the last try.
  38. And don't forget that BASIC animation and picture directories don't count towards statistics. So, therefore, we don't care how many you upload...feel free to double the number of animation files you have every week!
  39. If you want your animations to get download stats anyway, feel free to upload them in the game directory and we will have no problem with that.
  40. When uploading files, don't forget to upload them twice with one minor difference between them. File archivers love having to guess which one is the right one.
  41. The NSA uses only TI-BASIC for their highest level of encryption, so make sure you clearly label those BASIC encryption programs as "UNBREAKABLE."
  42. Since your BASIC program is obviously as cool and fast and powerful as an assembly one, nobody (not even the file archivers) will notice that it's really a BASIC program. Therefore, upload it into the assembly directories.
  43. If your program isn't quite as cool and powerful as an assembly one, you can make it so by adding a colon to the first line so it runs in MirageOS. Feel free to then upload it into the MirageOS ASM sections!
  44. Another strategy for submitting BASIC programs into the ASM section is to include various ASM libraries that lets your program replicate built in functionalty of the TI-OS memory manager!
  45. The fact that your program does only "Hello World" is overshadowed by the fact that it's in assembly! Upload this amazing achievement right away!
  46. Everyone prefers BASIC shells over assembly because they are larger and require you to manually edit a program and enter the BASIC programs you want to list in the shell. Write a few of these shells and upload them so people have choice. Don't be afraid to upload multiple versions of the same shell too!
  47. Don't forget that the file archiver e-mail is a great place to ask questions about why your calculator doesn't work!
  48. Even with the latest advances in technology, your BASIC clock program is far more accurate than any wristwatch or atomic clock (and obviously the built-in clocks on the newer calculators).
  49. Remember that BASIC password protection programs are automatically impervious to being stopped by pressing the ON key!
  50. If your program is in peril of being rejected, make sure you put "Please don't reject my file" in the description. This will change our minds.
  51. And if we were to accidentally reject your file after your pleas that we suggested in the previous tip, submitting again and insulting us will definitely change our minds.
  52. If you can't come up with any good programs, Texas Instruments just loves it when you take the demo versions of their apps and package them in a "fun pack" under your own name.
  53. The TI-83 Plus manual is one of the rarest pieces of literature in history. To make sure it's accessible to everyone, take the PDFs from all 20 languages and submit them in a massive zip file.
  54. Remember that simply including program documentation in your zip file is not enough. Upload them to our text/ directory as well!
  55. To make sure you get your 2 KB zip file six bytes smaller, make sure you select the proprietary maximum compression option in your zipping utility. It doesn't matter that nobody will be able to open your file (not even the file archivers) since they don't have your zip program.
  56. Always assume that the file archivers are sitting right in front of their computers ready to process your file. If they don't process it in 5 minutes, contact them via instant messenger!
  57. Remember that the bigger your file is, the cooler you are. Therefore, remember to include your screenshots inside your zip, in BMP format.
  58. If you use a Mac, remember to save any files you edit in the .tiprogram format. That way, all Windows users will wish they had a Mac as they won't be able to send your file to their calculator!
  59. Remember, viruses don't exist and we can trust EXEs from strangers to be safe. Therefore, feel free to include your manual in Windows executable format along with your program.
  60. People have difficulty using their multiplication key. After all, multiplication is a very difficult concept. Therefore, don't forget to upload a program that lets people find the area of a rectangle given the width and the height!
  61. Remember that file archivers may rename your file if you upload a file that has the same name as another file already in the archives. When updating your program, don't forget to use the original filename so the filearchiver gets to figure out which file is yours!
  62. Remember that regular guessing games are boring. Make sure yours has multiple levels and an AI!
  63. Don't forget that a file archiver's opinion is never final. If ever you disagree with them, feel free to insult them to help sway their opinion.
  64. We have an extensive ticalc.org FAQ section about submitting files. You really don't need to read it. Everything in it is common sense, anyways.
  Reply to this article


The comments below are written by ticalc.org visitors. Their views are not necessarily those of ticalc.org, and ticalc.org takes no responsibility for their content.


Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Lewk Of Serthic  Account Info
(Web Page)

You guys are brillant, well done.

The only one on there that I have done is "Hello World" in ASM. I'm so ashamed, and yet, so proud...

Reply to this comment    15 January 2006, 02:08 GMT

Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Jason Malinowski  Account Info
(Web Page)

It's not like we had to make these up. :-) We just had to write them down...

Reply to this comment    15 January 2006, 02:18 GMT


Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
something1990 Account Info

That's what makes it so funny! I thought I was quite the noob when my programs got rejected, but this list makes the hobo living near the dumpster look like a genius.

Reply to this comment    15 January 2006, 13:27 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
calkfreak83  Account Info
(Web Page)

I guess I'm special.. I've never had a file rejected.. but then again.. I've only uploaded like 10 or somethin

Reply to this comment    17 January 2006, 01:25 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
burntfuse  Account Info
(Web Page)

Morgan Davies, when he was the archiver, must have gone easy on me - when I was a stupid n00b, I uploaded all kinds of crap (programs to solve simple "x=yz" equations, a BASIC custom menu management program that didn't work, etc.), but it never got rejected, I just deleted it all as quickly as possible when I realized how useless it was.

Reply to this comment    17 January 2006, 18:54 GMT

Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
nyall Account Info
(Web Page)

well I wrote I a quadratic formula solver to demonstrate an asm subroutine.

>>It's okay to upload programs that have nothing to do with calculators in the Windows directory. ticalc.org is here to serve as a repository for your l33t Visual C++ skills.

Or visual basic. The rpn and pretty print programs here sort of annoy me. They are in visual basic with the note 'Hey some day I'll re-write them in z80 asm'

http://www.ticalc.org/ archives/files/ authors/54/5421.html

Reply to this comment    15 January 2006, 03:01 GMT

Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Jason Malinowski  Account Info
(Web Page)

Yeah, those probably shouldn't be there. Perhaps I'll remove them later.

Reply to this comment    18 January 2006, 15:53 GMT


there's a mechanism in place for that
slimey_limey  Account Info
(Web Page)

"Report Inappropriate Files" perhaps?

Reply to this comment    23 January 2006, 22:37 GMT

Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Ed Fry  Account Info
(Web Page)

I think I violated 6, 7, 46, 62, probably 63 at one point, and reluctantly 13.

What about people that upload multiple calc versions of a game in one file? I'm sure the archivers have fun figuring out which archive to put the file in and link the other archives to it. The 89 Basic games download leader (linked above) is a perfect example of this, since its download stats are basically its download stats from every basic archive on ticalc.org.

Reply to this comment    15 January 2006, 17:50 GMT


Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Gergely Patai  Account Info
(Web Page)

That's what linking is for, just tell the archivers which directories to link the archive from besides its real location. This is a nice, clean solution, because it makes download statistics easier to check and the author profile less cluttered (no multiple entries for the same program). I did this for both Death Rally and Acelgoyobis.

Reply to this comment    15 January 2006, 22:37 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
nathan90  Account Info

I think that you should make a new section for files that break follow many of these rules, appropriatly titled... BS

Reply to this comment    16 January 2006, 06:57 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Ed Fry  Account Info
(Web Page)

So your saying that a game downloaded from the 83 basic archive should count as a download in the 89 basic archive just because it saves a few lines on the author list? because thats whats happening, or in that particular case, every basic archive download for that file is being counted on the 89 file.

Is that fair to the people who have games in the 89 basic archive? should they have to compete against other, more frequently used archives for stats?

Reply to this comment    16 January 2006, 17:03 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Gergely Patai  Account Info
(Web Page)

How is that relevant here? An 89 program can't possibly be the same as an 83 one, while in my case we're talking about the same program compiled for different shells (a difference of a few bytes). How would that be beneficial to anyone if I uploaded practically the same file six times to six different directories? That would also mean sextupling the documentation, the editor, the source and partially the data files. I don't care about others' downloads, only mine. Anyway, if you are so obsessed with statistics, you must also notice that listing the same thing multiple times skews 'busiest author' ratings instead...

Reply to this comment    16 January 2006, 23:35 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Ed Fry  Account Info
(Web Page)

If your talking about multiple ASM shells, one calc, then I dont see any reason why you couldn't zip all the asm versions into one file and put it in the <Calc>\ASM folder. I'm talking about a program ported to multiple calcs, all encompassed into one file, put in one archive, and all of the other archives for the ported calcs linking to that one file boosting that one file's stats in the archive it's in.

And as for busiest author, since most calc ports require some work (unless is in the same series) to get from one calc to another, I think that I would classify that as being "busy" and it's not skewing the results at all. The Busiest Author stat is already pretty much screwed as it is with people submitting pictures and stuff all day, so legitimately making the ports for each calc into one file for each calc isn't going to make a dent compared to the guy thats submitting 20 Naruto pics a day.

The only real way this will probably ever get fixed is if a "multiple ports" archive is created, or each mirrored link counts only for the archive directory it's in. then it least it's not crosslinking all of the archive stats.

Reply to this comment    17 January 2006, 01:02 GMT

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Gergely Patai  Account Info
(Web Page)

Media directories are excluded from the statistics. See link for an example.

Reply to this comment    17 January 2006, 08:16 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Ed Fry  Account Info
(Web Page)

ok, they fixed the E-book and picture hole. So then they make 30 redundant programs a week and put it in the programs directory. His grayscale program made it to the count, it's not too hard to make 30 of those a day, Or any other redundant program for that matter.

The only stats that matter in order from most to least important is program Rating, Then downloads, then busiest author. Busiest author is so easy to skew its almost pointless and basicially just generates a lot of noise in the archives because people want to be on a list.

Reply to this comment    17 January 2006, 13:33 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Jason Malinowski  Account Info
(Web Page)

If they upload 30 programs, I generally get suspcious and contact the author. ;-)

Reply to this comment    18 January 2006, 15:55 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
nyall Account Info
(Web Page)

Since ticalc.org started using directories that don't count towards stats the amount of ebooks and pictures being uploaded has sharply decreased. At the height of the ebook craze, it was like 30 ebooks a week were being uploaded.

Reply to this comment    17 January 2006, 09:14 GMT


Re: Re: Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Ranman  Account Info

There is some benefit to releasing individual files for multiple calculators... It is the only way for the author to see how many downloads for each calculator model.

Reply to this comment    17 January 2006, 02:18 GMT


Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
CajunLuke  Account Info
(Web Page)

I've accidentally violated #58 before. It's a real pain, as the Mac version of TI Data Editor ONLY saves in .tiprogram format. You have to save it directly back to the calculator and go from there.

Reply to this comment    16 January 2006, 17:09 GMT

Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Kevin Kofler Account Info
(Web Page)

Dear ticalc.org staff:
You couldn't choose a more appropriate moment to write this list down. After all, you really have nothing else to do. Nobody in the community is interested in the POTY awards, so it's OK to publish the results in December just before the next voting starts.

NOTE: This should be read on the same tone as the news item. ;-)

Reply to this comment    15 January 2006, 02:41 GMT

Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
Jeremiah Walgren  Account Info
(Web Page)

So much love... No wonder everyone works well together!

Reply to this comment    15 January 2006, 02:57 GMT


Re: Re: 2^6 Ways to Get Your Files Accepted to ticalc.org
jesse frey  Account Info

I very much agree, the poty are the most important event in my life. I think that I will surly die if the results are not published in a prompt manor. please don't delay the results any longer.

Reply to this comment    15 January 2006, 21:04 GMT

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