Nick Disabato Marries TI-89
Posted by Michael on 27 September 2004, 05:14 GMT

In what has become a major media event, former ticalc.org news editor Nick Disabato has married his beloved TI-89 graphing calculator. The wedding was originally scheduled for October 16, but Nick decided to adjust the date after hearing of the recent lack of news on ticalc.org. "It was horrifying," he said, "and since 89-snookums and I were ready, we decided to take the plunge and help out ticalc.org as well!" Nick and Ms. 89 have been engaged since late July, several years after their original meeting in the electronics section of Target. Ever since the departure of his 86, Nick has been searching for a calculator that would, well...complete him in life. Now that he's found that special something, the entire ticalc.org staff wishes him the best of luck and that years of happiness may follow.

Due to the secrecy, only the couple's closest friends were invited. Magnus Hagander served as best man; Joey, Morgan, Jon, the Voyage 200, and others were also in attendance. From within the spacious lecture hall in the college math department, Nick proceeded down the wedding aisle with his bride-to-be rolling by his side in her motorized wheelchair. Shortly thereafter, they entered into the sacred bond of holy matrimony while astonished onlookers wept with uncontrollable emotions.

Details of the reception are carefully being guarded, but we were able to obtain a picture of their first kiss. Immediately following the wedding, the reception began - guests danced to Nick's own techno remixes. Joey was observed doing the funky chicken after having one too many glasses of non-alcoholic champagne. When interviewed, he commented, "Nick is such a great guy. I'm very happy for him." Nick only exclaimed something involving calculus theorems as he and Ms. 89 left the building. She would not talk to anyone, but only flashed the graph of r = 8sin(2*theta).

We should announce here that the TI-89 has now changed her last name in accordance with the usual custom, and will hereafter be known as Mrs. TI-Disabato. Nick and his wife are hoping for offspring within a few years. "We're hoping for ASM programs, but if we get BASIC, that's okay too," Nick commented before vanishing with his new wife into his bedroom. They are rumored to be engaging in rather passionate activities at this time.

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