TI-H: lighten up


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TI-H: lighten up




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Subject: Winders
 Date: Sunday, August 16, 1998 3:05 PM

 Alabama edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped
outside Alabama. It has come to our attention that a few copies of the
Alabama
edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama.

If you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help
understanding
the commands.

 The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen.
It
reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of the General Lee superimposed
on
a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver. Also note
the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is called This Infernal
Contraption,
Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys, Control Panel is known as the
Dern Dashboard, Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive,  and floppies
are them little ole plactic disc thangs.

 Other features:
Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and
duct tape.
> > OK = ........ ats aww-right
> > cancel = .... hail no
> > reset = ..... awa sh
> > yes = ....... shore
> > no = ........ Naa
> > find = ...... hunt-fer it
> > go to = ..... over yonder
> > back = ...... back yonder
> > help = ...... hep me out here
> > stop = ...... ternit off
> > start = ..... crank it up
> > programs = .. stuff dat does stuff
> > documents = .. stuff I done done

Also note that winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or
punctuation
marks. Some programs that are exclusive to winders 98:
> > tiperiter...........a word processor
> > colering book.......a graphics program
> > iner-net............Microsoft Explorer
> > pichers.............A graphics viewer
> > IRS.................M/S accounting software
> > IRS2................M/S accounting software with hidden files coon
> > NRA.................National Rifle Association
> > shot gun ...........Remington Arms price list
> > riffel..............Winchester price list
> > pisstel.............Smith & Wesson price list
> > truck...............Ford & Chevrolet dealers in AL by zip code
> > house...............Nearest Mobile home repair service by zip code
> > car ................same as truck just need two list in Alabama
> > cuzzins.............family history usually a 3 meg file
> > tax records.........usually an empty file
> > shells..............ammunition inventory another 3 meg file
> > bud.................list of Budwiser dealers by zip code

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy
of the Alabama edition. You may return it to Microsoft for our replacement
version.








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