TI-H: Good Times (funny)

To: Matt Coleman <dromara@ix.netcom.com>, ImightbeTM@aol.com, ti-hardware@lists.ticalc.org
Subject: TI-H: Good Times (funny)
From: Lord Spartan <ld_spartan@mail.geocities.com>
Date: Sun, 20 Jul 1997 13:15:14 -0400
Reply-To: ti-hardware@lists.ticalc.org

READ THIS:

             Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but
     it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It
     will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice
     cream goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit
     cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace field
     harmonics to scratch any CD's you try to play.

             It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It
     will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and
     leave its socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming
     over. It will put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit
     pants and hide your car keys when you are late for work.
 
             Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will
     give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your
     gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your
     girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to
     your Discover card.

              It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she
     is dead, such is the power of Goodtimes, it reaches out beyond the
     grave to sully those things we hold most dear.
     
             It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't
     find it. It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on
     your boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It
     is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather
     interesting shade of mauve.

             Goodtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the
     toilet seat up. It will make a batch of Methanphedime in your bathtub
     and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase
     gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.

             Listen to me. Goodtimes does not exist.

             It cannot do anything to you. But I can. I am sending this
     message to everyone in the world. Tell your friends, tell your
     family. If anyone else sends me another E-mail about this fake
     Goodtimes Virus, I will turn hating them into a religion. I will do
     things to them that would make a horsehead in your bed look like
     Easter Sunday brunch. 

PS:  I didn't make this up, someone else did.
Lord Spartan
<p><a href="http://www.geocities.com/SilconValley/Pines/4698/">Lord
Spartan's Domain</a>