A82: This is funny and true
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A82: This is funny and true
This is a true story from the Wordperfect Helpline. The
helpdesk employee was fired, but is currently suing
Wordperfect for 'termination without cause'. Actual
dialog of a Customer Support employee:
Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Wordperfect.
'What sort of trouble?'
Well,I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words
went away.
'Went away?'
They disappeared.
'Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Nothing.
'Nothing?'
It's blank; it won't accept anything I type.
'Are you still in Wordperfect, or did you get out?'
How do I tell?
'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?'
What's a sea-prompt?
'Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?'
There isn't any cursor: I told you , it won't accept
anything I type.
'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'
What's a monitor?
'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
I don't know.
'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?'
Yes, I think so.
'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's
plugged into the wall.'
....Yes it is.
'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that if
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just
one?'
No.
'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
find the other cable.'
.....Okay, here it is.
'Follow it for me and tell me if it's plugged securely into
the back of your computer.'
I can't reach.
'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?'
No.
'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
over?'
Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's
because it's dark.
'Dark?'
Yes the office light is off and the only light I have is
coming in from the window.
'Well, turn on the office light then.'
I can't.
'No? Why not?'
Because there's a power outage.
'A power...power outage? Aha,OK we've got it licked now. Do
you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your
computer came in?'
Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.
'Good. Get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just
like it was when you got it. Then take it to the store you
bought it from.'
Really, is it that bad?
'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?
'Tell them you're too fucking stupid to own a computer.
....
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